TOP 7 EMBARRASSING DEATHS
1. EMPEDOCLES (DIED 430 BC)
Threw himself into a volcano to become immortal.
Empedocles was a Greek philosopher probably best remembered for his classical theory of the four elements. He was the last Greek philosopher to write his theories down in verse form. Legend has it that Empedocles threw himself into the active volcano Mount Etna in Sicily in order to fool his followers into believing that his body had vanished and that he would return as a god. Unfortunately for Empedocles, one of his sandals survived the fury of the volcano and his followers discovered it revealing their leader’s deceit.
2. PYRRHUS OF EPIRUS (DIED 272 BC)
Killed when he was stunned by a tile thrown by an old lady.
Pyrrhus of Epirus was one of the greatest conquerors, although heavy losses in one campaign led to the term “pyrrhic victory” being coined in his honor. Pyrrhus was such a great warrior that a Spartan royal (Cleonymus) asked him to defeat Sparta and put him on the throne. Pyrrhus was defeated having underestimated the strength of the Spartan warriors, so he moved on to his next campaign in Argos. As he entered the city through the narrow streets on the back of an elephant, an old woman (unhappy with the conflict) threw a roof tile at him from her balcony. The tile stunned Pyrrhus, which allowed a common foot soldier to stab him killing him.
3. EMPEROR VALERIAN (DIED 260 AD)
Used as a footstool then skinned.
Valerian was a Roman nobleman who became Emperor Valerian I. During his disastrous reign, the western empire fell into total disrepair. In 260 AD, Valerian was defeated in the Battle of Edessa and taken captive by the Persian King Shapur I. In order to humiliate the Emperor, Shapur used him as a footstool. When he grew tired of his footstool, Shapur had Valerian skinned and had his skin stuffed with dung and straw and put on display in one of the large Persian temples.
4. HUMAYUN (DIED 1556 AD)
Tripped over his skirts and fell down some stairs.
Humayun was a Mughal Emperor who ruled modern Afghanistan, Pakistan, and parts of northern India from 1530-1540 and again from 1555-1556. He was a great lover of the arts and astronomy and left behind a great legacy as a consequence. He was also very religious and this is what led to his downfall (literally). As he was carrying books from the library, Humayun heard the Muslim call to prayer. It was his habit to kneel on one knee when the call was made, and as he bent his knee, his foot got caught in the folds of his long robes. He happened to be standing at the top of a small flight of stairs. He fell all the way down and hit his temple on a jagged rock, killing him.
5. ARTHUR ASTON (DIED 1649 AD)
Beaten to death with his wooden leg.
Sir Arthur Aston was a lifelong professional soldier, most noted for his support for King Charles I in the English Civil War. He was a great soldier who saw a great deal of action during his lifetime. In September 1644, he fell from a horse and ended up with a wooden leg, which was later used in his murder. In 1649, Oliver Cromwell’s forces attacked his town in the Siege of Drogheda and ordered everyone be executed. Aston offered to surrender but the soldiers who captured him believed he was hiding gold in his leg. They ripped it off and beat him to break open the leg. Unfortunately, it was solid wood and it killed Aston.
6. JULIEN OFFRAY DE LA METTRIE (DIED 1751 AD)
Ironically ate himself to death.
Julien Offray de La Mettrie was a French doctor, philosopher, and potentially the founder of cognitive science. He believed that sensual pleasures, such as eating and playing were the sole reason for life, and so he decided to live his life by that principle. Julien was an atheist and believed that life on earth was just a farce to be lived and ended in self-gratification. Ironically, he died rather painfully after eating too much truffle pate at a feast held in his honor by a man he cured of an illness.
7. BANDŌ MITSUGORŌ VIII (DIED 1975 AD)
Died after eating pufferfish, which he claimed to be immune to.
Bandō Mitsugorō VIII was one of Japan’s most highly regarded Kabuki (a type of dance/drama) actor, so much so that he was declared a national treasure. On the 16th of January, the natural treasure decided to dine out on fugu liver (highly toxic) claiming that he was immune to it. The fugu chef who served him said that he simply could not refuse to serve the deadly livers to such an esteemed gentleman. Needless to say, Mitsugoro died within seven hours.
